My Husband Treated Me Like an Obligation

The days I needed him were a painful reminder of this

My friends and I are having lunch. All three of their cell phones ring within a ten-minute time frame. It’s a mere coincidence that each call is from a husband checking in.

By the look on their faces, I can tell they are as bewildered as I am. They find my astonishment surprising. I am completely shell-shocked. Some men think of their wives while at work.

I never hear from my husband during the day.

I’m not exaggerating. I am speaking in the extreme. If my phone rings with his number it alarms me because it’s rare. This leads me to routinely respond the same way.

Obviously, this is not a normal exchange. You shouldn’t be worried that something is wrong because your spouse is calling you during office hours. It means my husband never calls me.

He says he’s a busy man.

But I’m sitting with three women who are married to busy men. Men who have high-level corporate jobs and less able to free themselves for a few minutes. My husband is self-employed and spends the majority of the day in the car driving from appointment to appointment.

I think because I was raised by a single mom it’s taken me years to notice this.

I am an obligation in my husband’s life. I feel it. It’s painful. Most of the time, I am oblivious to it because my mother was a strong role model. I go through my day looking for little help because she did it alone.

Today the sadness washes over me.

These men care about their wives enough to wonder how their day is going. They don’t initiate rigid boundaries and declare parts of their lives off-limits.

They don’t feel superior to the best friend they married.

Or signify this self-importance with rules and intolerance.

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